Freedom To vs. Freedom From: Exploring New Pathways After an Abusive Relationship

Freedom From: Escaping Constraints and Reclaiming Peace

After leaving an abusive relationship, the concept of freedom from takes on a profound meaning. This freedom is centred on releasing oneself from the constraints that held back personal wellbeing, autonomy, and peace. It’s about liberation from fear, control, and toxic cycles that hindered one's ability to live authentically. For many survivors, this is the first step on the journey, as it allows space for healing by removing the immediate sources of harm.

The Opportunities of Freedom From

• Emotional Reclaiming: Gaining freedom from an abusive dynamic is an invitation to release anxiety, shame, and self-blame. This emotional clearing is crucial as it lets one reframe the past and make space for healing.
• Boundary Building: "Freedom from" allows survivors to establish and uphold personal boundaries, free from the influence of an abuser. This opportunity helps in recognising the difference between safe and unsafe relationships, aiding in future interactions.
• Identity Renewal: Leaving behind an identity centred around survival and conflict opens the door to discovering a more genuine sense of self, free from labels or roles imposed by an abusive partner.

Freedom To: Embracing New Choices and Building an Authentic Life

Where freedom from removes barriers, freedom to reveals possibilities. Once the grip of the past is loosened, survivors are given the opportunity to explore what they truly desire. This freedom is about realising one’s potential, reclaiming autonomy, and designing a life that is self-determined and fulfilling. For many, it’s the exhilarating part of the journey, offering a chance to dream, set goals, and become the creator of a new chapter.

The Opportunities of Freedom To

• Reclaiming Personal Agency: With freedom to choose, survivors can finally prioritise their own needs and values. This is a time to embrace personal agency by setting goals that reflect who they are, separate from the dictates of past relationships.
• Exploring Passions: The "freedom to" means being able to pursue interests, hobbies, and passions without judgment or control. Whether it’s enrolling in classes, travelling, or discovering new creative outlets, this freedom to engage in self-fulfilling pursuits can be transformative.
• Establishing Positive Relationships: While "freedom from" provides safety, "freedom to" gives the ability to nurture healthy connections. It’s a chance to build relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and reciprocity, fostering an environment where one feels valued and secure.

Harmonising Freedom From and Freedom To

While these two freedoms serve different functions, they’re both integral to rebuilding a life after abuse. Together, they represent a balanced approach to healing and growth. Freedom from provides the foundation by ensuring safety and emotional stability, whereas freedom to allows survivors to step into a world of new possibilities, embracing an identity shaped by self-love and independence.

In practice, embracing these freedoms means recognising that both parts of the journey—the release of old wounds and the embrace of new dreams—are equally important. As survivors navigate this path, they cultivate not only resilience but also the joy of rediscovering the self and building a life that is free, fulfilling, and unapologetically theirs.

Journal Prompts

Here are five journal prompts to explore freedom from and freedom to on your healing journey:

1. Freedom From: "What beliefs or fears do I feel ready to let go of that once held me back? How did these beliefs or fears impact my choices, and how can I release them to create space for healing?"

2. Freedom From: "When I imagine myself truly free from past emotional pain or limiting patterns, what does that look like? Describe how my life feels, sounds, or looks in this space of freedom."

3. Freedom To: "What are three things I feel excited to explore, try, or experience now that I have the freedom to make my own choices? How will I take the first step toward one of these dreams?"

4. Freedom To: "How do I envision a day where I feel fully free to be myself without judgment or self-doubt? Describe in detail what I’m doing, who I’m with, and how I’m honouring my needs."

5. Combining Freedom From and Freedom To: "What do I want my life to feel like as I integrate freedom from my past with the freedom to shape my future? Write about the qualities, emotions, and experiences I want to cultivate as I embrace both kinds of freedom."

These prompts can help clarify both what you’re releasing and what you’re inviting into your life as you continue healing and growing.