10 Mistakes People with Low Self-Esteem Make in Relationships (and How to Heal)

1. Seeking Validation from Others

People with low self-esteem often rely on their partners to validate their worth, leading to insecurity and neediness.

Journal Prompts:

• What makes me worthy beyond what others say or think of me?
• How can I give myself the reassurance I usually seek from my partner?

2. Ignoring Red Flags

When self-esteem is low, there’s a tendency to tolerate harmful behaviour, fearing that setting boundaries might push people away.

Journal Prompts:

• What boundaries am I afraid to set, and why?
• What red flags have I ignored in the past, and how did it affect me?

3. Over-Apologizing

Apologizing excessively, even when unnecessary, can stem from a fear of conflict or being disliked.

Journal Prompts:

• What situations make me feel the need to apologize?
• When do I feel uncomfortable asserting myself, and how can I change that?

4. Fear of Abandonment

Low self-esteem can create an intense fear of being abandoned, leading to clinginess or self-sabotaging behaviours.

Journal Prompts:

• What would I say to my younger self when I first felt afraid of being abandoned?
• How can I reassure myself when I feel the fear of being left behind?

5. People-Pleasing

To avoid rejection, people with low self-esteem often prioritize their partner’s needs over their own, leading to resentment over time.

Journal Prompts:

• Where in my life do I say ‘yes’ when I really mean ‘no’?
• What needs of mine am I currently neglecting, and how can I honour them?

6. Staying in Unhealthy Relationships

Low self-esteem can make it hard to leave toxic relationships, believing that no one better will come along.

Journal Prompts:

• What beliefs keep me from leaving unhealthy situations?
• What would my life look like if I truly believed I deserved healthy love?

7. Assuming Responsibility for Others’ Feelings

People with low self-esteem may take on the emotional burdens of their partner, trying to ‘fix’ or rescue them.

Journal Prompts:

• When do I feel responsible for making others happy?
• How can I support someone without taking on their emotional burden?

8. Difficulty Accepting Compliments

Low self-esteem often makes it hard to receive compliments, dismissing them or feeling unworthy of praise.

Journal Prompts:

• What emotions do I feel when someone compliments me?
• How can I practice fully receiving kind words without deflecting them?

9. Stifling Authenticity to Avoid Rejection

Many people with low self-esteem hide their true selves, fearing that being authentic will result in rejection.

Journal Prompts:

• When do I feel like I have to hide my true thoughts or emotions?
• What would change if I embraced my authentic self, regardless of how others respond?

10. Comparing Yourself to Others

Low self-esteem often leads to constant comparison, leaving you feeling inadequate and unworthy.

Journal Prompts:

• What do I admire in others that I also have within myself?
• How can I shift my focus from comparison to gratitude for what I bring to the table?

Final Thoughts

Low self-esteem impacts relationships, but healing is always possible. Through journaling and self-reflection, you can begin to change these patterns and cultivate healthier connections. Start by exploring the journal prompts above to develop awareness, challenge old beliefs, and strengthen your sense of self-worth.

Remember: healthy love starts with how you love and value yourself.